Ep #184: Your Legacy

The Midlife Sex Coach for Women™ Podcast with Dr. Sonia Wright | Your LegacyThis week, we’re taking a look at another card from the Major Arcana: The Empress. The Empress embodies divine feminine energy and nurturing, but it also extends to the idea of legacy. Diamonds, in the second half of your life, have you considered the legacy you’ll leave behind?

For many women in their 40s and beyond, this period involves birthing new aspects of themselves and their legacies. From my own journey of motherhood – embracing adoption, childbirth, and step-parenting – I have reshaped my legacy and want to share some ways you can reshape yours, too. 

Do you want to transcend generational trauma and foster a legacy of unconditional love and healing? If so, you need to listen in this week. You’ll discover how to cherish and honor your body as a sacred vessel for your legacy. I invite you to explore what you need to manifest your desired legacies and embrace your authentic sexuality.

What You’ll Learn from this Episode:
  • The meaning of the tarot card The Empress and what it represents.
  • How to create your own legacy in your later years.
  • The benefits of reflecting on generational trauma.
  • The beauty of embracing changes in your body and how to find intimacy in new ways.
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Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to The Midlife Sex Coach for Women™ Podcast, episode 184 with Dr. Sonia Wright.

Welcome to The Midlife Sex Coach for Women™ Podcast, the only show that combines a fun personality, medical knowledge, sexual counseling, and life coaching together. To create unique sex coaching that helps busy women awaken their libidos, address intimacy issues, and learn how to express their sexuality for the rest of their days. Here is your host, certified life coach and sexual counselor, Dr. Sonia Wright.

Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, Diamonds. How are you doing this evening? I am saying this evening because it happens to be evening here in Minnesota when I am recording this podcast. And normally I’m recording it early in the morning by myself. But this evening I kind of have companionship in the form of my son, my oldest son Julian is home visiting, which is so wonderful because I have all of my children together at the same time.

My 24 year old, my 16, my 12, my 11 year old, my girls, my boys, all of them together. And it’s so cool having them home. And it’s so interesting because it ties in with what I want to talk to you about today. So as you know, we have been going through the major arcana of the tarot cards and we’re up to number three, which is the empress. And I have been using the Chris-Anne Light Seer’s tarot card and also other guided books on tarot to talk about each one of these people in the arcana, really, what they stand for, the concept that they stand for.

And I don’t want the focus to be so much on tarot cards or reading or whatever, but I believe that each one of the concepts that I talk about are a very important concept for human beings in general and for women specifically. And this is kind of a nice embodiment of that. So as I talk through the tarot, it’s less about the tarot and more about the concept behind each one of the cards.

And so today’s card is the empress, and it’s about divine feminine energy. But it’s about so much, it’s about sensitivity and nurturing, abundance and mind, body, spirit. But I want to talk about the waiting nature of the empress. And when I say the waiting nature, I mean waiting in terms of pregnancy. So most of us are in our 40s, 50s, 60s and beyond. We are past the time for most of us to have children. We may be having children in our early 40s, but usually by our mid to late 40s we’ve kind of passed that point in our life.

And we’re kind of shifting into another part in our life, which is the midlife focus. But I kind of want to think of the midlife in a different way. It’s another type of pregnancy, another type of waiting, it’s about preparing for the second half of your life and what you want to create in the second half of your life. So in the first half of our life we may have chosen that we wanted to have a child, either through pregnancy and delivery or adoption or whatever other method there is. There’s so many methods to have a child.

And of course I can talk to that because I have one child that I gave birth to and I have two that I adopted, one at birth and one later on. And then I have another one which is my bonus child through marriage. So I am the mother of four, and all different ways my children came to me. None of my children came to me in the same way and the same fashion. And just in terms of the many different ways that your children can come to you, are also the many different ways that you can create the second half of your life.

And what I’m talking about is a pregnancy, a waiting, an abundance and a nurturing, a creativity of your legacy. So as we talk about the divine feminine energy, it does not end with fertility. It transforms into another type of energy and I want to talk to you about that today. So as we get into midlife, I ask you, what is it that you want to be your legacy? And of course you know how I always talk about legacy or whatever the topic is in terms of your life as a whole, but then I also talk about your sexuality.

So I’m going to talk a little bit about legacy, what is that? What do you want it to mean? And then also in terms of sexuality. So we have gone through this gateway into the second half of our life or the middle, how about the middle part of our life. And we can see before us the latter part of our life when we’re in our 70s, 80s and beyond. But from this point on, it’s also a time when we are thinking about our legacy. We won’t always be on this Earth. What do we want our legacy to be about? And I’ve thought about this. What do I want my legacy to be about? What do I want to be remembered for?

And I think definitely I want to be remembered by my children as the one, the generation that transcended trauma. I don’t know if that’s the right word to say. But there’s a long legacy of trauma and pain and heartache in past generations. And as I think about the future generations to come, part of my legacy that I’ve always wanted for them is to have a future where the trauma has been processed, when there has been healing.

That doesn’t mean that there won’t be any trauma passed down to them because there’s epigenetics, where our trauma can be woven into our DNA, where it can live. But at the same point in time, we can do something about it so that I choose not to hand down certain things that I might have experienced. I don’t want that for my children. And in that way I can be a conduit for a new beginning with less trauma and more focus on love. If I had to say what I was put on this Earth for, I think it has to do with love and unconditional love and being that safe place for so many.

I mean I try to be that safe place for my children but I also want to be that safe place for you, Diamonds. So when I think of the empress, I think of the pregnant, waiting, the nurturing, the creating. And what is part of my legacy is the unraveling of trauma and passing on love to the next generation within my family, but also to all of my Diamonds. So that love kind of flows through you and you get to love yourself more and also to connect more with the sensual, sexual side of you, to be more in tune with that, to be embracing that aspect.

So I’d say that’s part of my legacy. When I think of the work that I want to do in the world, that’s kind of what my legacy is. The question is, what do you want your legacy to be? What do you want your legacy to be in your life? Maybe it’s the work that you do at work. Maybe you want to do some research. Maybe you want to impact people in a certain way in your lives. Maybe you just want to be unconditional love. You get to determine what your legacy is in this world. Do you want to be an inspiration to somebody? Because maybe that is what your legacy is.

If you had asked me when I was in my 20s what my legacy would be, that’s very different from what I want my legacy to be in my 50s. And I think that is why we do in our 20s and 30s, we do the real concrete aspect of giving birth, nurturing, creating life in that way, the flesh and blood way. And then as we get older, we create again, but in a different way. And we are creating our legacy. We are growing the legacy within ourselves and that will manifest later in our midlife and beyond. So there is that legacy.

So my Diamonds, I ask you, what is your legacy? What do you want to be known for? What do you want to pour your love and energy into for the second half of your life? So that’s the first part of my question. And the second part of my question is, what do you want your sexual legacy to be? Who do you want to be for the second half of your life? I can’t help myself. I’m a sex coach. I have to ask. I do have to ask. So you get to work on this as well. You get to connect your mind, body and spirit.

And I think that sexuality and sensuality is such a way to knit them all together. So what do you want your sexuality to look like? What do you want the sexual intimacy in your life to look like with yourself and with your partner? So that’s the second half of my question to you.

Now I want to shift gears just a little bit. But when we think about pregnancy, and I remember the days when I was trying to get pregnant and there is a time for the pre-pregnancy phase where we need to nurture our body. And so just as when we are trying to get pregnant, if you chose to get pregnant, there is the time to nurture your body before you actually implant the egg, implant the legacy.

So as we’re talking about this, what would you like to heal in your body? What would you like to appreciate about your body? So as we talk about the feminine, the empress, there is a time for healing and blessing as we are in the process of creating. So this nurturing that the empress is all about is nurturing ourselves. This holding this vessel, the divine feminine energy, all of that is the empress and it serves as a way to remind you to heal your body, to honor your body, to appreciate your body.

And being that I am one of these people that comes from the realm of logic originally, I focused on living from the neck up because my mind was the area that I trusted the most. And I chose not to live in my body. And as I get older, I realize in order to have the life that I want, the vitality that I want, I need to spend time in my body. I need to nurture my body. I need to appreciate my body.

And I was just coaching somebody on this loving of our body. As we get older, we need to release the concepts of what is a ‘good body’ and look at our body and realize that it is magnificent just the way it is right now. If we hold on to concepts of what is a ‘good body’ and these concepts came about when we were a teenager or something like that. Then when we’re in our 50s, it may not be in alignment with what’s going on in our lives at this point in time.

So we might still have this antiquated idea that a size four or a size six is the body type that you want. You want to be thin, you want to be beautiful, no wrinkles or anything like that. Let me tell you, sister, wrinkles are coming. Growing old is not for the weak. Can you grow old gracefully? Can you love your body? Can you love it when you’re having arthritis in your hip? Can you love it when you’re having hot flashes? Can you love your body when it’s shifting from one type of body to another?

This is your body. This is the body you get to have. So as we do this work, as we prepare to implant our legacy, we need to focus on our body, heal our body, appreciate our body because it is the sacred temple that is going to hold your legacy. So please honor your body exactly the way it is right now and recognize how amazing it is. And then we need to nourish our soul. We need to ask ourselves, what do we need for peace in our life? What do we need for peace in our soul?

What do we need to connect? If you believe in a higher power, what do we need in order to connect in the higher power? If you believe in just reality, what do you need to nourish your body and your soul so that it’s just relaxed and peaceful with the breath, where our muscles are not all tight, but we’re relaxed and accepting? Because in order to do this work of impregnating the legacy in ourselves and in the world, we have to be this open vessel and we have to be open in our body but also in our mind, our spirit. And in order for that to happen, we have to come from a place of peace.

So what do you need in order to come from a place of peace? And then finally, what do you need to bring forth that legacy from your dreams and from your thoughts into reality, what would you need in order to do that? So you have the body, you have the soul, you have the mind that’s creating the dreams and they all come together. And this is how you create your legacy.

But the time we’re in right now, 40s, 50s, 60s, this is the time where we make sure our health is there, where we make sure our peace is there, where we make sure our heart is there, where we make sure that our thoughts about what we want our legacy to be. We’re developing those because we are going to be bringing them forth into the world. And while we’re doing that, we can also look at our sexuality, heal your body in terms of your sexuality. Can you appreciate your body in terms of your sexuality, nourish your soul? What do you need for peace? Was the original question.

If we’re talking about sexuality, what do you need to enjoy your sexuality in your 40s, 50s, 60s and beyond? What do you need to be at peace with your sexuality? What do you need in order to nourish and love your body so you enjoy your sexuality? And then finally, you get to create your dreams. I used to talk a lot about creating the sex life of your dreams. This is also what you get to do during this time. So there’s several things that are happening during midlife and preparing for your legacy is one of those.

And preparing for the future of your sexual intimacy with yourself and with your partner or partners is also in your future. And so now is the time where you have concepts and ideas about it, and you bring those into fruition. So this is the important part and aspect of the empress. It is the divine feminine energy which holds and nurtures and creates and leads to abundance and leads to your legacy.

So, Diamonds, tap into that empress within you, impregnate yourself with your dreams and with your legacy. Enjoy the feminine sexuality and sensuality that’s in your body. And remember always that your body is a sacred vessel and it will allow you to create your legacy. And so, Diamonds, I will leave this question with you. What do you want to be your legacy on this Earth? What do you also want, because I can’t help myself, what do you also want to be your sexual legacy on this Earth? Do you want your sex life to end right now or do you want it to continue to be bold and spicy and wonderful and amazing?

So both of those things I ask you. And remember that you have the empress within you. You have the divine feminine energy within you. You have the ability to create and birth your legacy. And you have the ability to develop your sex life, your sexuality, and sexual intimacy. Okay, Diamonds, that’s all for this session. So good talking to you. Alright, love you a lot. Take care. Dr. Sonia is out.

Thanks for listening to this week’s episode of The Midlife Sex Coach for Women Podcast. If you enjoy Dr. Sonia’s fun and caring approach to sexual intimacy, head to soniawrightmd.com to learn more.

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Sonia Wright MD

Hi, I’m Dr. Sonia Wright and I’m YOUR SEX COACH! I’m on a mission to end the pain and isolation associated with sexual difficulties and to help women create satisfying sex lives.

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