I just started reading this fascinating book by Dr. Patti Britton called “The Art of Sex Coaching” and it’s so amazing! Every page has me even more excited about my work as a sex coach for women in midlife. As some of you already know, I combine my medical knowledge, sexual counseling training, and life coaching skills to create my unique program as The Midlife Sex Coach for Women. But really, what is sex coaching?
Sex coaching integrates the mind, body and spirit with experiential learning. This means that the client and the sex coach work together to help the client gain an understanding of her sexuality, explore any sexual problems and incorporate home assignments in order to evolve and grow. It’s a holistic approach that emphasizes talking, processing and taking action to improve any sexual problems.
Sexual coaching also promotes sex positivity and personal empowerment. It is focused upon supporting the client’s exploration and reinforcing the positive nature of this work. The majority of humans are sexual beings and have a right to a fulfilling sex life (a small percentage are asexual which is also fine). If clients are experiencing emotional distress due to lack of sexual fulfillment, then sex coaches are here to help. We provide a safe, nonjudgmental, and healing environment in which a client can talk about issues. We help them come up with a plan to improve the situation and support them while they implement the plan in their life. We are here to bounce ideas off and regroup when a plan does not necessarily work the first time. This work is experimental as well as experiential. There is more than one way to address an issue. Sex coaches are here to do the hard work with you. Like life coaches, we accompany you on the journey. We don’t leave you in the wilderness. We are here for the entire trek, till you get to the other side.
Sexual coaches and counselors differ from sexual therapists in that we are focused on accomplishing a goal in a shorter period of time. We are not focused on long term therapy. If a client is dealing with ramifications of trauma or sexual abuse, then it’s appropriate for the client to be referred to a sexual therapist. If childhood experiences are impeding sexual pleasure, then a sexual therapist would likely be a better fit. Sex coaches do not spend much time dwelling on the past. The focus is on the present and the attainment of a goal in the future. The client, not the sex coach, is the one who determines what the goal should be and then they work together to make it a reality.
Sex coaching is a collaborative effort; it requires a client who is motivated to do the work. It is not enough that the client shows up for sessions. They have to be willing to do the work outside of the session too. Sex coaching has a component of behavioral therapy built into it. Work is often done between the coaching sessions. This work is often called “home assignments” and may involve many different elements such as having hard conversations with partners, journaling, body work and physical activities. Accountability is an important part of coaching. The coach and client create the home assignments and the client must be willing to do the work. Even though assignments are done outside of sessions, clients are not alone. I keep in contact with my clients between sessions by either email or direct messaging.
Technology is making sex coaching even more convenient. I live in Minnesota, but my clients are from Minnesota and across the country. We talk in person, via video conferencing or the telephone. There is no one way to do this work. The important part is that the coaching gets done and clients’ lives improve.
I hope that helps you have a better understanding of Sex Coaching.
If you would like to talk more about the opportunity to work with me, feel free to reach out.
Dr. Sonia
sonia@soniawrightmd.com
