Ep #202: Honoring Your Midlife Transformation

You are listening to the Midlife Sex Coach for Women podcast episode 202. Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, my beautiful Diamonds. How are you all doing? I am so excited to be here.

I really am happy to be back, I have to say. Today is not just another episode. First of all, it’s episode 202, so we get to celebrate that. And also this episode is something truly amazing. Today is a new beginning. It’s a remembering, it’s a homecoming, and it’s actually a dedication, a dedication to my mother, Loleta

My mom was diagnosed with cancer about a year ago and unfortunately passed away in June and she was interned, buried, just a few weeks ago and I spent a lot of time processing the loss and asking myself what was life all about? What was her purpose on this earth? Her life was not easy in so many ways. She was born into poverty and she really had to fight to accomplish everything. She was a complex woman and she really inspired me. She taught me many things.

But the most important lesson that she taught me was to have a no regrets life. She had a lot of guts and courage and she dedicated her life to education and to geriatric nursing. And she taught me no matter what to make a difference in life, at least make a difference in one person’s life while you’re here. And that’s what I want to do. I want to make a difference in so many women’s lives. And I can hear her voice talking to me and saying, you know,

that this is the purpose for life. Do what you’re supposed to do. So something inside of you may be listening and waiting for this call. And there might be a voice that’s speaking to you that’s saying like, you get to have the life of your dreams. The truth that your life is as a woman is always meant to be. It’s time and it’s time for that life to bloom. So my name is Dr. Sonia Wright. I am Lolita Mullins’ daughter. I’m also a doctor.

A sexual counselor, a sex toy enthusiast, I am the Midlife Sex Coach for Women. And you’re here to witness the rising of a movement, not just about a life’s purpose, but even more, not a brand, not a program, a movement, a calling for women in midlife to rise in pleasure and empower and in purpose. So I want to share why I have returned.

Not just why I started the podcast again, but really a little bit more about why, There’s a time when I went quiet and I had to, I had to do the inner work so I could come back even stronger and be able to tell you what I have learned, I had to go away from the pressure to produce and to perform. I had to step away because I needed to stop and focus on the work.

on my life. I had to step away because there was a lot of things changing. There was like an old identity that was dissolving and I needed to also heal past trauma. I needed to go to a quiet inner place and do the hard work so that the next time I emerged I was a new version of myself. And in the quiet I found grief, I found loss, my own personal loss, but I also felt the weight of the work and the commitment.

to bring this message forward. And I’ve coached so many women and I carried the weight of all those stories, all the sadness that transformed over time, all that disconnection, the women that talked about the relationships, their body image, aging, libido, really the value of their life just in general. And beneath it all, I heard the cry, the call to come back and to keep going. I’m actually a very introverted person.

Many of you know I’m a radiologist. I love working by myself in the dark room reading my studies. And at the same time, I really heard the call, the echo of women in pain and sadness and grief. And I know this message. And I know that this message is really relevant. And I know that it’s time. And it’s time. This time has come for women, for women to stop shrinking.

really for women to stop settling for crumbs of intimacy. I could tell you the stories of women. It like breaks my heart. but things can change. It can be different. It’s a time to stop believing that midlife is the beginning of the end. It’s really the beginning of the beginning of a whole you, new you, right? It’s time to remember that midlife is a portal to a more powerful chapter of your life. This message, this movement, it’s not about fixing you.

really you need to understand there’s nothing that needs to be fixed. Yes, it’s different than it was before, but it doesn’t have to be fixed and you’re not broken. This movement, it’s about awakening you, awakening the truth, the desire, the voice, the wisdom, the life force that has always lived inside of you, but it’s not necessarily had the chance. Now in midlife, it gets a chance. This is why I really love this. I’ve watched the miracle happen.

when a woman reconnects with her desire, reconnects with who she’s meant to be, her eyes brighten, her voice steadies, her laughter returns, and the partnership, the relationships, things soften, they open up, they reopen, there’s a reconnection that’s really beautiful. And then creativity erupts and life reshapes itself, and she figures out the truth of who she is. And it’s about releasing everything that doesn’t serve you.

releasing old thoughts and old beliefs and finding out what is true for you. And this is why I’m here to say what many of us were never told. Your pleasure is sacred. Your pleasure in midlife is sacred. It’s not selfish. Your desire, they’re guiding you. They’re not distractions. Your midlife body is not a problem to be solved. It’s really something to be embraced and to be loved. Like body shaming,

No more, no more. Your midlife, it’s like a powerful instrument of intuition, connection, and joy. I know the multiple burdens that you carry, because I’m carrying them too. Caregiving, you may be caregiving kids and your parents. You’ve got your careers, you’ve got your standard, the silence. There’s so many things going on in your life. And you may have learned that everything is about everybody else.

And how rarely are you taught that it gets to be about you for yourself? And really in the midst of all of this, you are here and you’re here for a reason and you’re listening for a reason because something in you refuses to play half out. It’s really about being all in and playing full out. Something in you still believes, something in you knows that you’re made for more.

So let me just say what more really is, more and what it isn’t. It isn’t about more tasks and more pleasure. No, it is about more pleasure, but not about more pressure. It’s not about people pleasing. It is about aliveness and vibrancy and truth. And it is about being kind and gentle to your nervous system. It is about health.

and wonder and play in your life. It’s about intimacy and connection. It’s about money. Like you get to have abundance here and there’s more purpose. You get to feel devotion. So I want this podcast to be a place where you can come and give yourself permission to be all that you’ve ever wanted to be in life. this podcast gets to be your sanctuary, your place where you listen, where you ask yourself,

Who am I? Who do I want to be? You don’t have all those outside distractions, So it’s a place where you get to be you. You get to figure out what it is you want in life. And this revolution for women, about women for ourselves, you know? I want to share this inner map that has guided me back. And I want to talk about the journey that I have walked in quietly. And I’ve learned that true strength is not about force. It’s about truth.

It’s like looking at the hard things. It’s about sharing pain and sadness and feeling things, not avoiding emotions. It’s about connecting with our friends, our partners. It’s about commitment to our purpose. It’s about choice, the choice that you make. And this introvert is choosing to be out here because she loves her mission, because she loves you, because she loves her diamonds. I’ve learned that there is a call that does not come with a plan.

Maybe it comes with a knowing. Maybe it’s a mother’s whisper that says, trust what you feel, even when you can’t see the path. I’ve learned that to cross this threshold, I have to be willing to take action through faith. I don’t know everything, but I know enough that this podcast needs to come back. I know enough that my diamonds are out there and they are trying to figure it out too. And we can figure it out together. There’s no guarantees.

And I just have to step into it with faith and believe that the net is gonna be there and that I can also learn to fly. And I also get to remember that my greatest ally is creativity, the belief in the work, my mission, the power to speak my truth and to create with intention. I let my voice be the key that opens the doors for millions of women. And I face the ordeal.

kind of the end of this old cycle, the call to stop hiding. As I said, I’m an introvert and to be in this place where it’s like, okay, let’s go out and do this work. Let’s get on the stage. Let’s do this. Let’s do this for my diamond. Yeah, it’s been a crazy year for me. And I feel like I’ve returned carrying this lantern of truth and it’s about compassion, not information, but wisdom, not noise, but light, not more to do, but more to be.

It’s really about self-compassion and self-love. And most of all, it’s really about self-compassion. So sometimes that means that diamonds, it’s listening on your walk in your car in a quiet corner before the day begins. It’s about listening to you and what your spirit says. It means that you’re not behind and you’re not late. You’re definitely not alone.

and your life is not off track, it’s just different. And in the quietness, recognize that there’s an awakening. Recognize that your body is wise, that your desires are sacred, that your voice matters. Your boundaries are beautiful. You get to say no, and you get to say yes. You realize that joy is medicine, and that pleasure is power, and that the permission is, it’s the gift that you give yourself. Permission.

to live your life. So if this language feels new or even a little scary, that’s okay. It only means that you’re closer to the truth. If you feel like you don’t know who you are anymore, it’s okay because that means you’re in the middle of a metamorphosis to become this newer version of you. So what would you like to imagine? Maybe you’d like to imagine intimacy that feels like ease.

Not because it’s easy, but because you’ve done the work. And then an intimacy that’s not focused on performance, but it’s focused on mutual pleasure and receiving. Maybe mornings where your body feels awake and nourished. Maybe perhaps work that honors your gifts and your timing that works for you and your life. Maybe it’s abundance that reflects your worth.

Maybe abundance that holds you and supports and expands you. Like you get to ask for the money you deserve. How about friends that witnessed the fullness of your being in this process with you? Imagine walking through your days with the gift of a regulated nervous system. There’s so many different things that I learned over the last year. It’s like a quiet knowing exactly where you are and where you’re meant to be and living your best life. It’s not about fantasy.

It is about choosing this next chapter where you choose intentional love for yourself and for anybody else you invite into your life. And together in this space, we could walk and talk about intimacy and desire and body image and who we’re becoming and honesty. We’ll talk about hormones in our body, the science of pleasure, compassion. We’re going to talk about communication.

and hard discussions, right? We’ll talk about mindset and nervous system regulation and rituals that will hold you and lead to prosperity and abundance. And we’re also gonna talk about returning to the truth that you are worthy and that you’re valuable. That’s why I call you a diamond, because I want you to know each one of you is unique and valuable. And your life matters in so many ways. It’s not just about being a partner.

or a mother or whatever, like you get to define who you are diamond and what this new life looks like. You get to welcome pleasure and you get to feel life. Like right now, you’re not meant to remain in the shadows. You’re meant to come out and live the life that you’re meant to live. And you get to be unstoppable. You get to come from a place where your essence is undeniable.

Where you get to be not loud or aggressive or hard. And if that’s what you want, then hey. But like, undeniable in love and impact and connection. And I say when one woman awakens, her world changes. And there’s such a great impact. Families have connection, communities shift, workplaces get transformed, legacies heal. Like as I process my mom’s passing,

I also recognize like the legacy gets to shift and change and it does not have to be about trauma. can shift to love. And so this is why I returned not to teach you who you are. You already know, but to help you to bring that person to light, to acknowledge her presence and to ask her to come into the light and to just come in general, right? To give her permission to be seen.

and that she’s beautiful and she gets to let her light out in this world. I do a lot of coaching of private women and we’re on this path. There’s something about women in their 40s, 50s, 60s, really getting to be at this place where they get to be who they are. So I want you to feel that you’re not alone and that you’re among other women that are learning and remembering and figuring out who they are and that they can do this. We can do this together.

So want this podcast to be a sanctuary where we get to go on this journey together. We get to be honest. It’s a place where we get to laugh and cry and breathe and connect. It’s a place where we get to get back into our body and come forth in new life. But we’re birthing ourselves this time. We’re birthing our midlife selves. This is like the first step to awakening.

So today I say yes to that one desire that’s been whispering within me to come back and do this work. And I hope you say yes to the desire within you that’s been whispering, So say yes in any small way. Create five minutes of a sacred space to just listen to that inner voice. Close your eyes, maybe place your hands on your heart and whisper, I’m allowed to want what I want. I’m allowed.

to be who I am. I’m allowed to come into the light. I’m allowed to figure out what this is all about. What is my purpose in life? You get to honor yourself. You get to choose that inner calling. The worst thing is if you were to pass and you have not lived your life, you live somebody else’s life or the life that you thought that you should have lived, but you were put on this earth to live your life. And

Watch what happens when you live your life. Your energy returns, your creativity opens up, intimacy deepens, your leadership, it makes a difference in this world. Then your opportunities multiply. Life responds to a woman who embraces the truth of who she is. And that is bigger than any of us. And if for some reason you can’t do it, do it for your daughters, do it for your nieces.

Do it for the next generation so that they know that they can truly be themselves. We don’t have to wait to be chosen. We get to choose ourselves. We don’t have to ask. We don’t have to wait to ask for permission. We need to give ourselves that permission. We get to grant and become the person we’re always meant to be. This is a place where dimming our lights not accepted. You get to shine,

Welcome, welcome to this new podcast, Diamonds. Welcome to your awakening. Welcome to the movement. Welcome to the chapter in our lives where everything becomes more alive, more spacious, more intimate, more you, more connection, more honor, more allowing yourself to be who you are. I want to say I’m honored to walk this path beside you. And I want to thank you for trusting me with your becoming. Thank you.

enough for choosing to be here with me. And if this resonates with you, then continue, continue to come and to listen. And we have a lot of fun things happening over the next couple of months where we can connect again. And I’ll be talking more about that. Feel free to sign up and get on my email list.

So that’s something you can do. You can reach out at sonia@soniawrightmd.com at Sonya Wright MD. And I will put also a link

the show notes where you can sign up to make sure you’re hearing everything that’s going on with this podcast. So your midlife is not the beginning of the end. Really, it’s not. It is your beginning and it’s already begun. Like this gets to be incredible. Yeah. So sending you so much love, Dr. Sonia

out. Talk to you soon. Love you. Love you, diamonds. Let’s do this. Let’s let’s do the becoming of who we are our next version of ourselves. Okay.