Diamonds, if you knew you were guaranteed to accomplish the sexual intimacy goal you want to set in 2022, how would you approach it? You get to decide your goals and you also get to decide on the thoughts that will help you get there.
I am so excited to bring you this week’s episode as I’m giving you something I think you’re really going to enjoy. I recently did a workshop for impossible goals, as I wanted to do something where we could sit and talk about them. So over the next two episodes, I’m bringing the workshop to you to help you with the amazing intimacy goals you want to set this year.
Tune in this week for part 1 of the Amazing Intimacy Goals workshop as I talk about how to approach your intimacy goals and why failure is part of the journey. Some of the participants share their amazing intimacy goals, and you’ll hear some live coaching and Q&As. And don’t forget to tune back in next week for part 2!
Diamonds, I love talking with you each week on the podcast, but I want to get to know you better and help you create that amazing sexual intimacy that you deserve. Enrollment opens this week for Own Your Sexuality Now: The Intimate Edition so why not give yourself the gift of the connection, satisfaction, and pleasure you desire? You’ll be part of a small, safe, supportive environment with other women dealing with the same issues. We start mid-January, will you be joining us? Click here to sign up now.
What You’ll Learn from this Episode:
- What an impossible goal is and how to set one for yourself.
- How to approach your amazing sexual intimacy goals without fear of failure.
- Why failure is an opportunity for growth.
- How to change your thoughts around what is holding you back from achieving your amazing sexual intimacy goal.
- Some sexual intimacy questions from the participants of the workshop.
Listen to the Full Episode:
Featured on the Show:
- Get in touch with me: Email | Website | OYSN
- Sign up for my mailing list and get The Busy Woman’s Guide to More Pleasurable Intimacy
- Click here to download the Amazing Impossible Goals Worksheet from the workshop.
Full Episode Transcript:
You are listening to The Midlife Sex Coach for Women Podcast episode 70.
Welcome to The Midlife Sex Coach for Women™ Podcast, the only show that combines a fun personality, medical knowledge, sexual counseling, and life coaching together. To create unique sex coaching that helps busy women awaken their libidos, address intimacy issues, and learn how to express their sexuality for the rest of their days. Here is your host, certified life coach and sexual counselor, Dr. Sonia Wright.
Hello, hello, hello, Diamonds. It’s Dr. Sonia. And I am so excited to give you something I think that you’re really going to enjoy. I recently did a workshop for impossible goals. And we have been talking about impossible goals since the end of December. And I wanted to do something where we could just sit and talk about impossible goals and actually go over a worksheet. And I’m going to include the worksheet in the podcast episode notes as well so that you can have access to that. And I hope you enjoy it. Okay, talk to you soon.
Hello, hello, hello, everybody. I am Dr. Sonia Wright. I am so happy to have you here with me this evening. And we are going to be doing a workshop on your intimacy goals in 2022. Yay, let’s start by congratulating everybody for getting here to 2022 and for you for coming to talk about your sexual intimacy goals. This is something that’s very important. And this is the work that I do. I love doing this work. I love doing this work with you. And so we’re just going to talk. We’re going to have a relaxed discussion today and have some fun as well.
So before I get started, for those of you that may not know me very well, I’m Dr. Sonia Wright. I am a medical doctor, a sexual counselor and also a life coach. And I’ve also worked in a sex store, store. So I kind of come at sexual intimacy from all different angles. And I definitely come from this perspective of making it as fun as possible. And we are going to be having some hard discussions over the course of this session and maybe some other sessions. And that’s okay. This is part of the sexual intimacy work, and this is why I’m having this talk and especially at the beginning of the year.
Because I want us to start off kind of like with a bang and start off the way we want to continue this year. And so we may have different goals that we want to set for this year. And we may want to figure out how to do these goals so that’s what I’m here to talk to you about. But first let’s find out where people are calling in from. I am in Minnesota. So if you want to put in the chat where you’re calling in from, that would be great, so I know where everybody is from.
I am from Minnesota so yes, it’s kind of freezing cold out here. I kind of enjoy Minnesota and the weather. The colder it is the clearer and the crisper it is. And if you ever listen to my podcast then you know that I love the cold weather up here. I didn’t know that I would, but I do love it.
Okay, let’s see, people are calling in from North Carolina, from Maryland, from Ohio, from Wisconsin, that’s my neck of the woods, from Dallas, from St. Louis, Missouri, from Missouri. Well, I’ve got some Missouri people here. So we have you guys from all over, from California, so welcome, so good to have you here. And I think most of you – from Chicago, rural Minnesota.
Yeah, before we start all that I want to make sure you understand the chat is open. I don’t say anybody’s name specifically so feel free to put whatever you would like to put in the chat. So go ahead and just if you put any questions or anything that you want to say it goes specifically to me. If you want another layer of anonymity feel free to put it in the Q&A. You can also put any questions or any concerns that you have in the Q&A.
Okay, I’m going to just talk a little bit about sexual intimacy goals and how to kind of approach it. And we’re going to have some fun while we do it. So I’m going to pull up the worksheet, so I am kind of looking along with you. And the first thing I want to do is to stress a little bit about how I approach sexual intimacy goals.
So the way I like to approach it is from a place of mindfulness and that’s kind of like being in the present and not focusing on what’s happened in the past. And not necessarily focus on it as much as – your mind might want to go to this place where it hasn’t worked, something hasn’t worked in the past and so it’s going to be a problem in the future. We don’t kind of go there, we just stay where we are at this point in time. So we focus on what’s happening now. And we recognize that things can be different than they were before, and we can make things definitely change.
Okay, so when we’re talking about mindfulness we’re talking about focusing on the present, focusing on a goal that you might have and going from there. And also non-judgment. Non-judgment is so important with all of this. Let me tell you, when we’re talking about non-judgment we’re really talking about not judging or critiquing what we’re thinking, what we’re doing and what our hopes and aspirations might be. And so we have a tendency to deal with shame, and blame, and guilt, and judgment and perfectionism. Perfectionism is a big one when we’re talking about goals.
And then we get into this place of having emotional bullies. And that’s what I call my emotional bullies. And you may be familiar with them, emotional bullies like the shame, and the blame, and the guilt, and the judgment. So when we’re doing this work of approaching intimacy goals for 2022 we kind of have to look and see what it is that we want to focus on and what it is that we don’t want to do which is kind of judge ourselves.
And then also a big part of any goal is recognizing, in order to get to that goal, to that finish line, there’s going to be some good days, there’s going to be some bad days and there’s going to be a lot of failures. There’s going to be a lot of trial and error. I kind of like the word trial and error a little bit better than failure. But it’s going to come to pass that some things that we try in this work are going to be successful and other things that we try are not going to be as successful.
And if you can have an understanding at the beginning of all this as to where you want to go with this. And it’s okay to have some failure in there. So this is kind of an important part of it all is to recognize that there’s a pile of failure. Anywhere you see success, anywhere that you see a person succeeding you need to understand that it didn’t happen overnight. It could have happened 10 or 15 years. And there’s a pile of failure.
And what separates out the people that become ultimately successful in accomplishing their goal is that they don’t stop. They recognize that there’s some things that work, some things that didn’t work and they are okay. They don’t judge their failures. They don’t judge what didn’t work in terms of thinking that didn’t work. And they don’t make it mean something about them either, if that makes sense. So they’re not judging themselves, they’re not judging their failures, they’re just learning from it and kind of going from there.
So when we talk about this work that we’re going to be doing it’s important to recognize that if we can do it from a place of non-judgment and accepting then we kind of are on a better path to actually get where we want to go. And so you choose what you want to make failure mean, that’s something to be very aware of. So you get to choose to stay right where we are in the present and you get to decide what you all want to make that mean.
And there’s ways for us to be observant while we’re doing this work and non-judgmental towards our goals. Because critiquing, and criticizing, and judging ourselves usually ends up with us giving up early, if that makes sense. And the answer to any success is always that there’s going to be a failure along the way. So when I talk about achieving our goals and going for our goals we do need to recognize that in the midst of all that, that there is going to be failure and that’s okay. This is part of it.
So if we can make a pact with ourselves that when we’re doing this sexual intimacy work that from the beginning we have an understanding that it’s not going to be perfect, it’s not going to be perfect from the beginning and it’s going to take some time. So that’s the first thing I want to make sure that everybody is clear about when we start doing this work.
And so when we’re coming from this place of mindfulness and we’re willing to allow failure what comes up for you with that? Do you think you would be willing to allow failure during this work? And you can put that in the chat, or you can put it in the Q&A. When you think about failure when you’re doing sexual intimacy. Now, for most people that comes from a really charged place. Somehow we’re not allowed to have any failure or make mistakes when we’re talking about sexual intimacy.
If we try to initiate something and it doesn’t work out well we’re like, “Let’s have a little fun.” And then it doesn’t work we’re like, “I am never doing that again.” But we don’t know the reason why the other person, if you’re initiating with another person, was not in the mood. Maybe they’re just tired that day. And maybe they hope that you might initiate again but you’re like, “Oh, wow, I failed at that, I am never doing that again.” But if we allow ourselves that it doesn’t have to be perfect, that there can be mistakes and maybe our partner can get upset at times.
And maybe things don’t work out. The older I’m getting I’m certainly more open to retrying, yeah, that’s something that’s important, that we are willing to retry because by retrying we will eventually get to where we need to go. And I know this because I have worked with my clients. I’ve had some clients that started from a place of they haven’t had sex in five, six years. They have not had any type of intimacy, or connection, or anything. They’re coming at what we call, we term, a sexless marriage if you have sex less than six times a year, they kind of think of it that way.
So I have worked with these clients, and we have been able to bring back the intimacy and the touch into the relationship. But you can recognize that it’s not going to be okay, for the last five years, we have not had sex and then tomorrow we’re going to have sex. It doesn’t work that way. There has to be some trial and error in there where you’re trying to figure out how to do this where you’re like, “Well, I haven’t touched you in five years, I’ve got to start somewhere.”
So if we can allow the fact that we’re not going to know how to do it perfectly then we will be in an okay place. So this is what it’s about, allowing the failure and being okay with the failure. So I spend a lot of time on the non-judgment and accepting that there will be some failure. And you don’t even need to call it failure. I use the word failure sometimes because that triggers people. And you hear the word ‘failure’ and it’s like a hot stove, you just don’t want to touch it, you don’t want to go there.
So I use that word because I want you to understand that that failure is okay, but you can use whatever word you want. If you want to say trial, if you want to say attempt, if you want, whatever feels good to you. I come up with the word that triggers people the most because I want you to understand that that is a normal part of this entire process.
Okay, alright, good job, alright. So my question, if you knew that you ultimately were guaranteed to accomplish the sexual intimacy goal that you want to set, how would you approach this work? If you know that there was going to be trial, and error, and failure, and whatever? Yeah, yeah, one person is saying, failure equals opportunity for growth. It really does. And we get to choose how we want to think about this.
So for this person if she were guaranteed to accomplish the sexual intimacy goal that she wants to start with, if she thinks of failure as an opportunity for growth, or an opportunity to eventually get to where she wants to be she’s going to be in a better position in terms of how to interact and how to approach this work. So each of you think about how you have a tendency to approach failure and how you want to approach it in this instance.
And when we’re talking about a sexual intimacy goal, recognize, I recognize definitely that it’s something that’s very charged for people. It’s something that when they’re doing this work it feels very vulnerable and it feels like maybe not a safe place. Maybe it hasn’t been a safe place in the past, but we want to do this work. So whenever I talk about approaching this I also talk about creating your zone of sexual safety. So your zone of sexual safety is whatever you need in order to feel safe in a place. In order to feel like you can do this work.
In order to make this sexual intimacy goal, you’ll need to create the zone of sexual safety. And the zone of sexual safety very often has something where you – the zone of sexual safety is something where you’re allowed to feel vulnerable. So maybe it’s you make a decision that I’m not going to judge myself. I’m not going to criticize myself. I’m not going to feel guilty. It’s going to be okay to make mistakes. It’s what you set up ahead of time to make it okay to do this work.
So for all of you, think about what you would need in your zone of sexual safety. And if you want to share that, feel free to share that. And feel free to change your names if you want to. If people use their anonymous names, I love to call out their names, the anonymous names because it’s so much fun. So Juicy Fruit says, I want to see it as an opportunity to discover what I don’t want or like. Exactly, especially say that you haven’t really had the opportunity to explore your sexuality.
Say you’re going to start trying toys for the first time. If you are trying five different vibrators, there’s some that you’re going to like and some that you’re not going to like. And it’s just the same thing with whatever work you’re going to do. So with a vibrator, there’s some that have a buzzy sensation and can be really fast and buzzy. I have to admit I hate those. Those are no, they will never work. I am a thuddy girl, and I don’t know what you are but I’m a thuddy girl, it has to be like – and that works great for me.
So just because I bought the vibrator that has the buzziness, does not mean that I have to stick with that vibrator. And it’s okay that I bought that vibrator that didn’t work for me. I just put it to the side. And I take my thuddy friend. But then maybe I try a third one and I didn’t know that I was going to like that. Maybe it’s a combination of buzzy thuddy. So if that’s the case now I’ve learned something new. So I bought the buzzy one, it didn’t work out. I have the thuddy one, I know that works for me. And then I tried the buzzy thuddy and I’m like, I have a new buddy, hello, buddy fuzzy.
I would not have known this if I had not tried it. So it’s okay to have ‘failures’ and to try things. So I’m loving how Juicy Fruit says, I want to see it as an opportunity to discover what I don’t want or like. Exactly. So if you knew ultimately you’re going to succeed at this, what would you think about things that didn’t work out? You would think that it’s okay that it didn’t work out. I’ve still got to where I wanted to go. So as we start doing this work it’s important to not judge ourselves. We’re not having the emotional bullies. We are focusing in our zone of sexual safety.
And now we’re going to start talking a little bit about how it pertains to this concept of an impossible goal. Why exactly do I call it an impossible goal? I call it an impossible goal because any goal that we have, if it’s a stretch or a reach type of goal then our brains are going to start getting activated. And when I say our brains get activated, it’s that anxiety part of our brain. So I have decided I’m going to run a marathon, let’s be clear, I will never run in a marathon. But if I did decide that I wanted to run a marathon my brain would come up with all the reasons why it’s not going to work.
So maybe you have a goal, and your goal is to have 52 amazing sexual encounters this year. And then your brain is going to come up with a reason. If you listen to your brain it’s going to be like, “Whoa, whoa, whoa, 52 is a big number. Let’s cut that in half.” And then it’s going to be like, “Well, do they have to be amazing? I’m not sure if they’re going to be amazing.” And then it’ll be, “Well, does it have to be an encounter, or could it be just the thought of an encounter?”
Your brain is going to come up with all these reasons and it’s going to be like, “This isn’t going to work, 52. We have to go on vacation or we’re going to be working a lot.” Our brains come up with all these objections and eventually get to this place where our brain is saying, “This is not possible. This is an impossible goal.” And so instead of listening to our brain that’s going crazy because our brain, it’s just the kind of primal part of ourselves that just wants to protect us. Because it just wants to protect us it’s going to think of all the reasons why.
So that’s when we talk about an impossible goal, our mind goes to that place where we’re like, “It’s impossible, it can’t be done.” And when we’re dealing with our mind, instead of allowing our mind to go crazy we just simply say, “You’re right mind, it is impossible and that’s okay.” And maybe I’ll succeed at this and maybe I won’t but I’m going to give it a try and I’m going to give it a really good try. And I’m not going to fail ahead of time by deciding not do it because it feels like it might be risky. I’m just going to say, “Yeah, it is kind of impossible and let’s just see what happens anyway.”
So that is kind of how we allow our brain to go crazy. We’re just like, “Yes, okay, if you have to go crazy, it’s okay.” So I think of impossible goal as a goal that sparks your imagination, one that allows you to dream but also a goal that your mind does not believe will come true within a year or a one year period of time if you want to do it in this one year period of time, if that makes sense. So your brain is going to say, “It’s not going to happen.” And you just let it say that and you agree with your brain. And then your brain has nowhere to go with this.
So you acknowledge the goal is impossible, but you also say that you’re going to try and do it anyway. And that’s the fun part of it. So the path to achieving your goal is usually messy, and it’s full of failure, and it may seem impossible and all of that is okay. So let’s talk about impossible goals as it relates to sexual intimacy. So maybe your goal is to initiate sex 52 times in a year. Or maybe it’s to have an open communication, or maybe it’s to have 20 intimacy dates.
So the first question that I have for you is what are some sexual intimacy goals that you’re considering for this year? Somebody has put a question in the Q&A already and I’m going to work on that question with them. Let’s see. I am 64 years old. I am divorced after 33 years of marriage and now in the dating scene. Well, first of all, congratulations. That’s pretty amazing. And so I have an ileostomy. Okay.
And an ileostomy for people that don’t know is that the ileum is part of the small bowel, you have a small bowel and a large bowel. And the small bowel and ostomy is kind of opening, so an ileostomy is an opening of the small bowel to the surface of the skin. And it says, I have an ileostomy and wear an external pouch. And so when you have an opening to the outside of the skin you need to put a pouch on it so that contents from your small bowel will go into the pouch. Ex didn’t have an issue with it.
I’m always worried about when to tell my dating partner about it. And then when, if we get intimate, how they really feel about it. I feel anxious and like I’m a failure in how I feel about how I look during intimacy. I’m usually a very confident person but in this area I feel anxious about sex and can’t relax. What’s the best way to get over this?
Okay, alright, so I’m going to address this in a couple of different ways. So one is, one I’m celebrating with you around the fact that you’re out in the dating scene. And two, if you go online there are some, you’ll find, there’s actually ileostomy bags which, there’s ‘sexy’ ileostomy bags which are kind of decorative. And you can put your ileostomy pouch into these bags. And so they’re lacy and they’re pretty. And you get to decide if that’s something you might be interested in.
But in terms of the coaching side of things. You’re usually a very confident person but in this area you feel anxious during sex and can’t relax. So the important thing would be to look at your thoughts. We know the feeling is that you feel anxious during sex. And so the question is, what is the thought that’s creating that anxiety? Are you thinking that you’re concerned about how you look during sex? Are you concerned that your partner is going to be turned off by the ileostomy? You get to decide what you want to think about this.
So we’re going to look at your feeling is that you’re anxious. And so your thought, what is the thought that’s leading to that anxiety? And also, and you can either put it in the chat or you can put it in the Q&A. Also what might be your goal for this year around this area or something else? Okay, so we’ve got a couple of things that are coming in, so this is really good. So go ahead and put what your goals are.
And the anonymous person, go ahead and answer in the chat if you’d like to, what your goal is around the sexual intimacy with the ileostomy and what your thought is right now so that we can help you with that. And for other people on this call, go ahead and put in, in the chat or in the Q&A, what goals you want to work on this year. And I’ll go ahead and check-in with other people.
Okay, so another person says, I was married for 25 years, and my husband was diabetic, so we didn’t have sex for seven years. Now, I’m in a new relationship, my goal is to just have sex again. I feel rusty. So my goal is to confidently have sex. I love that. So this person’s goal is to confidently have sex. So that’s alright. So your goal is to confidently have sex and over the course of this next year you’re going to work on that. I love how you say confidently. So that helps me understand that you have the goal to have sex and then also you have a goal to do it confidently.
So you want to feel confident while you’re doing it. So then the question becomes for you, what thoughts do you need to think in order to feel more confident around the issue of sex? And I have this thing that I use called the thought cascade. And it’s a tool that helps us understand how we want to address this. So the circumstance or situation would be such that it is a sexual intimacy. And then you have a thought about it which we can explore what that thought is. And then your feeling is you want to feel confident.
And so then you need to have a thought that’s going to make you feel confident. So the question is, what kind of thought can you have as you’re entering the dating world and you’re having sex again that’s going to make you feel confident? And so you get to answer that. So go ahead and put that in the chat as well.
And let’s see, so I was asking the person that has an ileostomy and they’re just recently divorced and getting back into the dating world, what they want to think and what they want their goal to be. So they’re saying their intimacy goal is initiating sex and being proactive and asking for what I want and speaking up and be able to discuss more. Okay, so let’s see. And sorry, ileostomy girl, that was a different person. So we have a lot of anonymous people. So the ileostomy girl here, okay.
My goal would be to learn how to have sex in a relaxed manner without being anxious and to be confident in this area. Okay, so we are talking about that, so your goal and I love that goal. So you have this goal that you want to be relaxed, and you don’t want to be anxious, and you want to be confident while you’re engaging in sexual intimacy. So the situation is engaging in sexual intimacy with an ileostomy bag. So that’s a simple situation that we’ve got going on.
And then you have your thoughts about that situation. And so you get to think about your thoughts about this situation. And right now you’re feeling anxious. So you’re having a thought that’s around the ileostomy and sex that’s making you feel anxious. And so we want to know what that thought is that’s making you feel anxious. Is it that you feel you’re not as attractive? There’s a thought that’s like ileostomy and sex don’t go together, whatever that thought is, we get to identify what that thought is. But it’s making you feel anxious.
And you’re going to take certain actions based on that anxiety which may be not to have sex with people when you want to, not certain how to talk about the ileostomy, not certain how to approach the subject. There’s certain actions. And then the result is going to be less sexual intimacy. You ultimately want the result to be that you’re more confident in this area, you’re more relaxed and you’re engaging in more sexual intimacy. So given the same situation, sexual intimacy with an ileostomy and you want to feel relaxed and confident, you can choose one of those two feelings.
Then there is different actions that you’re going to end up taking. And so when you’re wanting to feel relaxed and confident, or confident, you’re going to have a thought and the thought might be I get to choose that an ileostomy is okay. Or I get to enjoy sex and have an ileostomy. I get to enjoy my body the way it is. And I get to be confident about my beautiful body just the way it is. You get to decide what is the thought that works for you.
So ileostomy girl, go ahead in the comments and just tell us what thoughts might help you, it might work with you. Okay, her original thought is that she’s not as attractive or that something will happen to the pouch during the act and how the partner reacts to the pouch. Okay, so that’s the thoughts that you’re having right now is that you’re not as attractive or that something will happen to the pouch during the act and how the partner will react.
So it sounds like you want to talk to your partners about this ahead of time and that sounds like a good thing to engage in. But also when you’re in this situation sometimes things will happen. Sometimes things happen with the pouch, not that often because there is some sticky stuff on there that keeps that intact. But sometimes some things may happen with the pouch. So the question becomes, what do you want to think? If you want to engage in sexual intimacy and you have an ileostomy what do you want to think that’s going to lead you to be relaxed?
What do you want to think that’s going to help you have that sexual intimacy? This is an important question for you is, what do you want to think that’s going to make you feel relaxed around the issue of sexual intimacy and the ileostomy? Because the thoughts that you’re having now is something’s going to go wrong with the pouch, I’m unattractive, I’m not as attractive as I could. What if my partner reacts to the pouch? So all those thoughts are ultimately blocking you from the sexual intimacy that you deserve.
So you get to decide what you want to think. You can’t change the fact that you have an ileostomy, at least not at this moment. And you can’t change the fact who you are as a person. But you can decide what you want to do with that. You want to have sex and you have an ileostomy. We’re not going to deny either one of those. We’re going to kind of put it together and figure out how it can work for you. So if you have an ileostomy, what do you think you might want to think in order to feel more relaxed about the situation or more confident?
Alright, so let’s see. I love how you put ileostomy girl in there, which helps me to understand which person is talking. I want to think that I’m beautiful with who I am and that if this guy doesn’t like it he’s not the guy for me. There you go. And it’s okay if he’s not the guy for you. It just means that goes under one of your failures or one of your trial and errors. And that gives you the opportunity to go onto the next person. But also it also gives you the opportunity that maybe this is the person for you.
And if you’re thinking this thought that I am beautiful who I am and then you’re feeling more confident or you’re feeling more relaxed, you’re like, “I’m beautiful exactly how I am. This ileostomy is part of me and I’m beautiful.” And then you’re feeling more relaxed or you’re feeling more confident or whatever, then you’re going to take different actions from that place.
Right now, if you have the thought, I’m not as attractive, or something’s going to happen with this bag, or he’s not going to find me attractive then the actions that you’re likely to take are to hide, or maybe not go on dates, or maybe not try the sexual intimacy thing. But if you’re coming from a place where you’re saying, “I’m beautiful exactly the way I am with my ileostomy. This is a part of who I am. And I’m showing up with it.” And you come from a place of being relaxed and confident then what other actions can you have?
The odds are you’ll be able to have those conversations. The odds are you’ll be able to have your own back and stick up for yourself. The odds are you’re going to try it more. You’re going to try and see how sexual intimacy works out more. And the odds are you’re going to find that person that’s like, “Yeah, I’ve heard about those ileostomies. Yeah, not a big deal.” So you get to find the person that’s right for you, but you have to be thinking a certain way in order to do it.
Okay, ileostomy girl says, I don’t want to take up any more of your time and I plan to do this work. Yeah, and that’s what I’m here for. And you have to recognize that when I’m coaching you, there’s a lot of people learning. Because maybe they don’t have an ileostomy bag but maybe they have a tummy and they’re like, “I can’t go out on a date because I have a tummy.” Or maybe they’re like, “I can’t go out on a date because of this or that.” Whatever it is, even though I am coaching you, everybody on this call is learning as well.
Hey, Diamonds, it’s Dr. Sonia here. You know what? I love talking with you each week on my podcast, but I want to get to know you better. I want to work directly with you. I actually want to coach you live and help you create that amazing sexual intimacy that you deserve. So once a year I open up enrolment for my Own Your Sexuality Now program which is my 90 day group coaching program. And enrolment opens this week, and it closes as soon as I enroll the small group of committed women who want to change the intimacy in their life.
So as soon as the small group is full then enrolment is going to end. And this cohort of Own Your Sexuality Now, I also call it OYSN is a unique group because it is the intimate edition which has half the normal number of women in the group. We’re going to focus on doing the work in a small safe, supportive environment where you get to see that you’re not alone, that there are other women that are dealing with the same issues that you’re dealing with.
And it doesn’t matter your age or your background. We are all here and we are all in it together. You deserve that connection, satisfaction, and pleasure of a healthy happy sex life with yourself and/or with another partner. So are you committed and are you ready to do the work? Would you like to create that blueprint, the pleasure plan for the next 40 years of amazing intimacy? If so then I’m looking for you to join this group. You’ve done all the things that you’re supposed to do. You’ve been responsible.
You’ve catered to everybody else’s needs but what about you, when do you get to focus on you? I say the time is now. And I say it doesn’t get any better than right now. Why wait another second? We are heading into the new year, what do you want your sexuality to be like in the new year? If you’re not feeling connected, if you’re not getting the satisfaction and if you’re up in your mind and not enjoying yourself then it’s time and I’m here to help. Let’s do something about it.
If you think about it, you could potentially have 30, 40, even 50 more years of intimacy ahead of you, what do you want it to look like? Let’s get real, let’s talk about what’s going on in your body, what’s happening with your libido, and we can kickstart this intimacy. Let’s talk about what it would take to tap into that amazing intimacy that you deserve. And I don’t care if you have a partner or not, you deserve amazing sexual intimacy in your life. If you’re a woman who wants to enjoy all aspects of her life, this program is for you. It finally gets to be your time.
So come join me as we discover how to get your groove back on and live your best life. I can’t wait to see you in OYSN. Yeah, OYSN, the limited edition. So click on the link in the show notes to find out more. And just so you know there are two scholarships available so I can’t wait to see you in Own Your Sexuality Now. We start OYSN, the intimate edition in the middle of January, will you be joining us? Click on the link below to find out more.
Talk to you later, Diamonds, Dr. Sonia out.
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