Ep #182: Celebrating Feminine Intuition in Women’s History Month

The Midlife Sex Coach for Women™ Podcast with Dr. Sonia Wright | Celebrating Feminine Intuition in Women’s History Month

So many women rely on logic, intellect, and social feedback to guide their lives instead of allowing their inner selves to guide them. Many times, as women, we want to trust outside of ourselves because intuition is often misunderstood or pushed down. The truth is, rational and irrational can work together!

This week, Coach Lisa Hatlestad is back on the show to talk about the importance of feminine intuition and how the tarot card of the High Priestess makes the world of logic and intuition come together. We also discuss Women’s History Month, how women have stood out and used their power throughout history, and how you, my Diamonds, can bring that into your sexuality.

Listen in as Coach Lisa and I delve into the different cycles indicated by the High Priestess and learn how, no matter which cycles you find yourself in – whether it’s fertility, perimenopause, or menopause – it’s natural that sexuality comes and goes, and you get to decide what you want to do with this freedom.

What You’ll Learn from this Episode:
  • How to create a space where intuition is welcome and celebrated.
  • The benefits of listening to your intuition.
  • How women have shown their power throughout history.
  • What the High Priestess is about in regards to women’s sexuality.
  • How the cycles of the cards mirror those of women’s bodies.
Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:
Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to The Midlife Sex Coach for Women™ Podcast, episode 182 with Dr. Sonia Wright.

Welcome to The Midlife Sex Coach for Women™ Podcast, the only show that combines a fun personality, medical knowledge, sexual counseling, and life coaching together. To create unique sex coaching that helps busy women awaken their libidos, address intimacy issues, and learn how to express their sexuality for the rest of their days. Here is your host, certified life coach and sexual counselor, Dr. Sonia Wright.

Hello, hello, hello, Diamonds. How are you doing? It’s Dr. Sonia here. And I have one of my favorite people with me always, always, if you can be heart bonded with a person which you can be, then I am heart and mind bonded to this individual. I don’t know if she knows it and she knows it and she might be creeped out by that. But this person is one of my besties. I don’t even know if she knows that she’s a bestie, but I have decided that she is my bestie.

And I just love her mind, her spirit, her soul, her everything. And I ask her to come and talk about different aspects of the arcana in the tarot card. And we are the second one, which is the high priestess. Now, the high priestess, and she doesn’t know this either, is one of the ones that I have some difficulty with because my brain likes to be in logic. It finds safety in logic.

I’m not saying that the high priestess doesn’t have some logical aspects to it as well. But it’s very much about intuition, about trusting yourself and about so much more that Coach Lisa is going to talk to us about today and we’re going to have a conversation. But it’s one of those things that I tend to shy away from because it really is about trust and trusting yourself and feeling and going within. And so often for women, especially my Diamonds, we want to be in this place where we trust outside of ourselves. We trust in logic and we go outside of ourselves.

And the high priestess lives in two worlds, they live in one world and the other and then they come together. And so it’s within yourself and bringing that into the reality of what’s going on. So Coach Lisa, let’s talk about the high priestess and first, tell me what are the thoughts that come to mind when you think of the high priestess?

Lisa: Well, okay, first Sonia, you had me at bestie. My heart just melted. And it’s just an honor to be well regarded by you and get to spend time with you and get to come here on your show and talk about these things that I know we both love. So what comes to mind, it’s really interesting and I just want to say this because the major arcana starts with the fool, which is kind of a leap. Literally that would be the fool’s message is just leap.

And then we have the magician that we talked about a while ago, who’s kind of as above, so below and here we are in between what’s seen and unseen. And so now going to the high priestess, we really step into the unseen aspects. So to echo what you’re saying, like so many of us, and this is only natural, it is not a fault at all. But so many women rely on logic, intellect, and social feedback to guide their lives, more so than their inner unseen weather or whatever you want to call it, their unseen world.

And I think, of course, the word that comes to me with the high priestess is intuition. And I think that intuition in itself is sometimes misunderstood, we don’t really, what is intuition? Is it just having thoughts? How can I tell the difference between having intuition or just having fears or having whatever? So all of the listeners today when you’re taking in information or hearing about the high priestess, what I want to invite everybody to do is just set logic aside for now. Set the rational aside.

Rational and irrational are not good and bad. They’re just different ways of perceiving. And to really get in touch with the high priestess, our inner high priestess, which is our ability to perceive through how we’re feeling, through what our body is telling us, through what is opening up when our body is telling us things. We have to kind of put the rationale aside. That’ll come back next month with the emperor, and that’s fine, that’s perfect. We need both of those aspects.

And I think, Sonia, one more thing in my very wordy beginning here about trust is remembering with the major arcana of the tarot, just like the zodiac, just like everything else, it’s not being just one thing. So it’s not navigating your whole life by intuition and inner experience alone, but it’s opening up those skills and making it part of your whole self. And I think that all of us women have so much to learn and so much space to learn in order to be able to do that.

Sonia: And I think I hear you when you say it’s about and allowing, inviting in. And our society has a tendency to downplay intuition and especially women’s intuition. It probably has another name when it’s a gut feeling or something like that if it’s masculine, [crosstalk] but that’s okay. But a woman’s intuition, we’re rational and irrational. When you hear rational, you’re like, “Yeah, that sounds great.”

Irrational sounds chaotic, sounds like something has a negative connotation. And you’re saying it’s not good or bad. It’s just two different ways. But in our society, very much, things that are seen as more feminine or feminine energy are kind of pushed down.

Lisa: Into the irrational, even going back to women’s mental health. Not even a full century ago, the word hysteria was linked to our womb. You know what I mean? And It’s so interesting. I don’t want to get too much into that, but I do want your listeners to kind of get a picture of how our intuitive feminine knowing, our intuitive knowing is sort of pushed into the wrong or the kind of loopy, looney world by the rational.

And that does not mean that it’s looney or the only thing irrational means is it can’t be held within the container of linear logic. That doesn’t make it any less right.

Sonia: Right. And there’s so much that can’t be held in that world of linear logic. But our society wants to throw away everything that can’t fit into that really small container. And there’s so many times when we have this feeling or this sense that something’s not right with our child or with a family member or something. We have this inner knowing and it turns out to be correct. And so, there’s so many times when we are being signaled to listen to ourselves and to understand that.

And I want to create a space where it is okay for that, it’s okay and as you say, it’s welcomed and it’s brought into the fold. It’s not everything, but intuition gets to be a part, a knowing, a feminine knowing within us gets to be celebrated, gets to really be celebrated.

Lisa: Amen. And heard, another word that’s coming up to me around the high priestess, actually two words, receptivity. That is, if you went online and Googled high priestess, you would probably see that word throughout many different descriptions. But receptivity, and which I think is such a beautiful invitation to all women to be receptive to those messages, to those yearnings, to those hunches that are going on inside of us.

That doesn’t mean that we can’t add our discernation to it. But like I was getting earlier, in a patriarchal society, rather than learning to be receptive to those, we’ve learned to think of them as no, so that receptivity. And then I think another word which a lot of women will probably cringe at is passivity.

Sonia: Interesting. Tell me more about that.

Lisa: So being passive. What comes up for you, Sonia, when I say, be passive?

Sonia: Honestly, somebody taking advantage, being on the ground, That somebody’s going to step all over. You’re allowing, you’re not having boundaries and you’re allowing people to use and abuse you.

Lisa: Yes, exactly. And that can happen. But I want everyone to just consider what it might mean, what passivity might mean if you’re not all the way over to one side basically being a doormat. It has so much more to do with, some words that come up for me are self-acceptance. And again the receptivity, and again letting our feelings and our wants and our desires flow through us without having to make any of them right or wrong or do anything about them right now.

Sonia: So it goes back to that allowing and accepting and being an open vessel for what may happen. And I’m also thinking of, they talk about palm trees during a tornado or a hurricane. And how they kind of bend. They accept that there’s these really high-powered winds and things are kind of crazy and they kind of just bend over with it as opposed to resisting it.

Lisa: [Crosstalk].

Sonia: [Crosstalk] and they just, whoop, they’re back up. And they’re like, “Okay, well, yeah, that just happened and I allowed that and here I am, solidly grounded in who I am, flexible, allowing what is to come, being receptive to it, being passive to it and bouncing back and being resilient as well.”

Lisa: So beautifully said, I love that, thank you.

Sonia: Thank you. And I think that this is March, this is Women’s History Month. And very often I think about, this is 2024, but I think about 2000 and I think about 1800s and I think about 1600s and I think about 1400 and 1200, whatever AD, a time where women’s power was not necessarily something where it was out there, where they could just push and do what they needed to do. But it might have been more of a passive, not passive aggressive type of power, but holding a power in a different way and still getting things done, still allowing things to happen.

And part of that was just definitely having a belief in oneself and an understanding of who you are. And as we are looking at Women’s History Month, recognizing all the different ways that women have stood up and stood out and allowed and changed so much of history at the same time, in so many different ways. And sometimes it does require us to go forth, and sometimes it requires us to do things in a different kind of subtle manner.

Lisa: Yeah, I think both because when you’re talking about ancient history, it’s not that once upon a time, women were powerful and now, it’s that we’ve always, all of us, are powerful. But again, patriarchal society, which has been going on for a very, very long time, has forced a lot of, I mean, think of the Salem witch trials, the witch hunts or whatever. And so women have had to learn to conceal or soften their power, but let’s not make a mistake, that power is still there.

And I think that the subtle ways that we’ve learned to use that power, to hold that power, to have that power really is, the whole topic, I could talk forever just about that. Because we are so flexible and adaptable and intuitively knowing, I think, when we tune into it about how to carry power. But maybe not necessarily always in that direct and sometimes assaultive way that power tends to, how do I want to say this? Drive us if we’re not discerning. I think that women have learned tons or maybe always had the knowledge of how to hold power with discernation for the good.

Sonia: Definitely. And I’m going to shift gears a little bit because I want to do transmutation or bring that into women’s sexuality and the power or the discomfort in our power around sexuality. We are taught in this society that sexuality and being a woman are not necessarily good things. There’s a number of labels that they put on us and if you put a label on, it’s amazing how there’s power in a label, somebody calls somebody a whore, a slut or whatever, and that shifts the dynamic, it shifts us.

It could possibly shift us out of our power, our sexual power or it doesn’t have to. If we recognize that’s just a word, and that’s a word that somebody’s using to take away our power to try to control us in a certain way. How do we help our Diamonds stand in their sexual power, stand in their sexual energy? And I feel like intuition and sexuality are tied, it’s a subtle connection there.

Lisa: I would agree because our sexuality first and foremost is of our body and so is intuition. Intuition isn’t necessarily even having cognitive thoughts, sentences in words. It has a lot more to do, one thing I want to offer is just think of your body as your inner ocean or where your inner ocean exists so to speak. But Sonia, what you were saying about being called a slut or a whore, all the other ways that women are shamed for their overt sexuality.

And thinking about it, this is just a little mini meditation I want to offer people that takes one second is, any of those words in your head that shame you about your sexuality. Imagine those words just dropping into the vast ocean within you where they’re really not much more than grains of sand that get moved by the ocean currents. We don’t have to take labels onto ourselves. So that’s, I think that’s what the high priestess is all about. She contains, she [crosstalk].

And also within that, this beautiful containment system of our body, that’s where we feel all of our feelings. And our feelings, the sensations and emotions are intrinsically linked to sexuality. And I think having been an intimacy coach, a sex coach for a while, I’m sure you’ve heard this, and I’ve certainly heard this too from a lot of women, “I can’t get out of my head during sex.” And I think that’s very telling because just like intuition doesn’t happen in our brain, neither does our sexuality. So I think again the high priestess is an invitation to start listening to the ocean waves, so to speak.

Sonia: I love that, listening to the ocean waves of your spirit, of your soul, of your sexuality. Becoming that receptive container for all of it and allowing all of that to be without judgment, without saying it should be a different way and things like that. If we have the judgment, we’re all up in our minds and we are playing with fire or we’re just like a hot stove, we pull away as fast as we can and we withdraw ourselves and we don’t have that allowing.

But if we’re in that place of allowing, then we can contemplate. We can process. We can go into our body and we can allow and we can enjoy our sexuality. So that becomes something that’s important. I also wanted to look at the high priestess. If you look at the original cards, it has an early moon, a full moon and kind of a later moon. And reflecting the cycle of a woman’s life, the maiden, the mother and the wife and then the old crone.

And it’s interesting, we’re okay with the maiden and the mother wife type of concept of the full moon, the fullness, but the crone, we don’t like that term, crone, we don’t necessarily. We put negative energy upon that and I wonder why. There’s so much that’s beautiful and amazing about being in that wise part of our life. And as we are in midlife, we are shifting out of that full moon into that other area where wisdom comes in. And I like to think of it, the wisdom of knowing and understanding and allowing ourselves to be ourselves.

Lisa: Yeah, Sonia, I love this so much. And I think part of the thing with the crone is these, again, the crone, the image that we see is meant to be indicative. Often when you see images of crones, we see something, this kind of gnarly older woman with warts on her nose and all of that really. And that is just symbolic language for when we reach a certain age and our fertility is in the past. We go through menopause and so we’re no longer actively fertile.

And this has so much to do with that crescent moon that you’re talking about versus the full moon. That empty space where the fullness used to be isn’t something, yeah, we have lost the fertility of our youth. What else do we lose? We lose a lot of the social worry and anxiety and things that come with youth. I know a teacher that sometimes talks about the second part of life. The first part of life you spend socially building and succeeding and creating and growing.

The second part, you’re wherever you’re at, and then you start growing as an inner person. You start knowing yourself more. And what’s missing is all of that anxiety. Am I going to be good enough to attract a mate? And I know that as older women, we still have these thoughts but I really, I think there’s something about maturing. If we let it happen and don’t try to force it away, that ironically lets us come into our fullness.

Sonia: Yes. And I was just about to say that. There is still the fullness there, and the older crescent mooned concept. It’s just inward. The fullness, we are still full and whole and a beautiful woman. And the part that we don’t see that’s kind of the darkened part is the part that is now within us.

Lisa: Exactly. And let’s remember, the moon is always in its fullness, always. It’s just that we don’t see it. And so, yeah, beautifully said Sonia.

Sonia: I love that. You always give me so much to think about.

Lisa: Likewise. So I think the other thing I wanted to say about croning and sexuality is that at least traditionally, long before viable methods of birth control were a thing. This release from fertility was also, if women had the opportunity, a release to get into your sexuality and enjoy it and have sex more often, and partner with who you wanted to. Now, societally, that hasn’t always been okay for women.

But I really want all of your listeners to think about the wisdom behind the cycle. When you’re no longer fertile that does not mean that you’re no longer sexual. We still have clitorises. We still have parts of our body that love to be touched and the freedom to enjoy that without the concern of pregnancy or something else back in the day. That freedom still applies to us. This is a beautiful time to explore our sexuality.

Sonia: I love that. So it makes me want to ask my Diamonds, okay, you’re in your time of freedom or you’re entering your time of freedom. What do you want to do? How do you want to show up in this time? What would you like to allow? Who do you want to be? What does your intuition say? This is your time. This is your time, so good. Anything else that we want to touch on in terms of intuition, high priestess and the inner self?

Lisa: I think, one other thing I want to say, because I’m such a nerd about this, you all. And Sonia was alluding to the high priestess card in the traditional Rider-Waite tarot, but almost any image or any interpretation you see of the high priestess. It is a woman or a female like figure, sitting in passivity, sitting in peace. And those cycles of the moon also indicate the natural cycles of our body, whether it’s our menstrual cycle or the cycle of coming into croning.

And one thing that I just want to use that imagery to support all of you with is, with menopause, with aging, even perimenopause, even birth control, our cycles can ebb and flow just like that inner ocean in between us. And a lot of times, because we’ve been trained to think that our sexuality is now ebbing out, leaving us, but it’s just coming in the pattern. It’s going in and going out. And the high priestess knows that this is natural and knows that what is lost comes back, is lost again, comes back.

Sonia: And that’s so beautiful. And thank you for saying that because as a woman that has gone through menopause, there were some trying times in there where I was like, “It might be gone forever. It’s good seeing you.” And it’s nice to see you and that’s the end of it all. And actually be in my 57th year and realize it actually can come back. You have to work at it sometimes, you have to put some effort into it but it can come back and it can flow back in, in surprising ways that you wouldn’t necessarily know.

And I love how you say sitting in peace. If all of my Diamonds could just see that you get to sit in peace. What does that look like for you? What would you like to allow? What would you like to release that you’ve been holding onto, that’s been agitating you and just allow it and sit in that place of peace for you? So those are the questions that I would like to ask.

And Lisa, thank you so much because I love ending on that concept of the flowing in and out and the natural cycle of things. And we get to be sexual throughout our entire life. So thank you, thank you for that beautiful gift. I appreciate it. Thank you.

Lisa: Thank you, Sonia.

Sonia: So good, always a pleasure.

Thanks for listening to this week’s episode of The Midlife Sex Coach for Women Podcast. If you enjoy Dr. Sonia’s fun and caring approach to sexual intimacy, head to soniawrightmd.com to learn more.

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Sonia Wright MD

Hi, I’m Dr. Sonia Wright and I’m YOUR SEX COACH! I’m on a mission to end the pain and isolation associated with sexual difficulties and to help women create satisfying sex lives.

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