Ep #120: Clitoral Empowerment: It’s Your Time

You are listening to The Midlife Sex Coach for Women™ Podcast episode 120.

Welcome to The Midlife Sex Coach for Women™ Podcast, the only show that combines a fun personality, medical knowledge, sexual counseling, and life coaching together. To create unique sex coaching that helps busy women awaken their libidos, address intimacy issues, and learn how to express their sexuality for the rest of their days. Here is your host, certified life coach and sexual counselor, Dr. Sonia Wright.

Hey, Diamonds, we’re back again with another amazing podcast episode, so excited to have you here. It’s Dr. Sonia. This episode is dedicated to all my Diamonds in the rough, the ones that are just about there. They want to burst out and live their lives but they’re not sure how to take the next step. I want to be there for you and with you. And I want to be an example of what is possible. Right now I’m in Hawaii getting ready to get married on the beach. Yes, my second ceremony and my third honeymoon. I’m really enjoying my life right now. And you know what, why not?

I decided in November of 2022 that I was going to go all the way through to December of 2023 and experience my best year ever. And then I was going to do it all over again. I’m 56, and I finally decided that it was my time. And you know what too, Diamonds? This is your time too. This can really be your time. Make the decision, decide to make this year your best year ever.

I want to tell you a story. I was getting my nails done for my wedding and I met an amazing Diamond in the rough. I don’t even think that she realized how amazing she was. I don’t think that she realized that she’s a Diamond. She was in her mid-30s and doing all the things that society says that we should do in order to be happy. She had the job. She was married. She had the two kids, working here ass off all over the place. And she was at that point, and many of you know what I’m talking about. She was at that point when she realized that something was missing.

And I could see the path before her, that path that so many of us women have taken, the same path that she is on right now, myself included. I did that. I had the job. I had the kids. I had the partner. I was trying to do it all and be perfect and something was missing. And so I looked at her and I asked her, what did she want in her life? And she told me she didn’t know, she had no idea. She had been with her husband from the time that she was 19 years old. And she had been making sure that his dreams were coming true.

She could tell me everything she needed to do to help him bring his dreams into reality but she couldn’t articulate her own dreams. And she’s really an amazing person. She had spirit, and intelligence, and drive. And it was all directed towards making somebody else’s dreams come true. And this is what society says women should do so often is to direct their energies, and their mind, and their intelligence, and their power, their clitoral power, remember that, all towards making sure somebody else’s dreams come true.

And with doing all of that she didn’t really even have a minute to think, and process, and dream for herself. She was so busy taking care of the kids, the in-laws, the partner that her spirit did not have a moment to breathe, let alone soar. There is no time ever for her to spread her dream wings and soar, and fly, and glide, and feel the breeze on her face and just enjoy life. And she really is amazing. And when I asked her about her dreams she said she didn’t know. But then I continued to gently probe, we were there for a long time doing a mani-pedi. And then her dream started to spill out.

And it’s like this so much with women. We have dreams and they’re deep, deep within us. And we don’t allow them to come out. We don’t even acknowledge that they’re there. And when somebody probes and just keeps asking, not hopefully in an annoying way, but just in a caring loving way where we feel that it’s safe enough to let our dreams come out. Then she started talking and she said how she wanted to be a motivational speaker. And she wanted to help support other women.

She wanted to start a women’s circle and a book club. Her and her bestie had been talking about this. It was so good. The smile on her face, the energy shift that occurred. But at the same time she was feeling stuck and she wasn’t sure if she would be able to make that dream a reality. And I’m hoping that she’s listening to this podcast right now so I could tell her again how amazing she really is. And she has everything that she needs to make her dreams come true.

And all of you listening on this podcast, I want you to know that you all have what you need and you can do this. You can dream. And, Diamonds, are you feeling stuck right now? And I want you to know it’s okay if you’re feeling stuck. And you know who you are, if you’re sitting and you’re listening to this podcast and something inside of you says, “Yes, I am feeling stuck.” Know that that’s okay. And I also want you to know that it’s time, the time has come, the time has come for you to dream. It’s time to dream, that’s all I want you to know.

This 2023, this year coming up, it is your year if you decide it’s your year. And if you need to rest your mind first and you know, I had a podcast on resting. If you need to rest your mind first then rest and relax, and think, and dream. Recognize that you were put on this Earth with your dreams in you. The universe, higher power, whatever you believe in, put a dream in you to make this world a better place. Don’t die with that dream still in you. Let’s make 2023 the year that you bring that dream out and you lead your best life.

And when you’re ready, let’s take some steps, let’s do something about this. First of all, identify the life that you want to live, figure out what your dreams are. You don’t have to know everything, but I bet there’s something inside of you that’s asking for you to do more. There’s something that sets off your passion. And getting back to that clitoral empowerment, we’re going to use that energy to bring us forward to what we need to do. But right now listen to that little voice inside you, just start writing some things down. What do you want the next 30 years of your life to look like?

I know, I know, big question, but that’s okay. We’re into living large and being big and asking those questions. And I’m going to ask you because you’re my Diamond and that’s what I’m here for. What do you want your dreams to be about? And this is not about regret, let me be very clear. Everything that happened in your life happened for a reason and happened up until this point.

We’re not going to spend any time saying, “Oh my goodness, it’s too late for me. I spent too many years doing other things. I wasn’t listening for myself. I wasn’t taking care of myself. I wasn’t empowering myself. I wasn’t focusing on my dreams.” None of that. You are where you’re supposed to be at, at this moment. And this is the gift of midlife is that you get to decide that now’s the time to do this for you. So be intentional about creating your dreams. Each one of you know that you have dreams inside of you just like my Diamond that I talked about a minute ago.

Your dreams are inside of you, don’t be afraid to let your dreams out. Let them pour out. Write them all down because we’re going to start and we’re going to head towards them. Yes, I am the midlife sex coach. And yes, your dreams can be about sex or not. It can be about anything you want. And there’s so much more in life. Yes, I’m a sex coach, I’m also a master certified life coach. And so my Diamonds, they’re just not focused on the bedroom, they’re focused on all of their life.

And so I’m asking you, what are your dreams? It’s time to go for those dreams. I am so into focusing on what it is that you want your life to be like. Okay, once you’ve identified your dreams and you become intentional about the life that you want to live, let’s go ahead and harness our clitoral power, the center of you, the focal center, powerful, spiritual part of you is there. You have all that you need right now to get started. Rest along the way when you need to, tap into that energy, tap into that strength, tap into your clitoral power.

Know that you have everything that you need to do this work and step forward, take the next step. You no longer have to wait, your time is now. This is the time that we get to do this. For me, I’ve been on a very interesting journey my whole life. The moment I decided I wanted to be a doctor at 28, 10 years after I started medical school, 10 years after most people started medical school. At a time where a lot of people were not doing that.

And I decided I was going to have a baby my first year of medical school, it was not an accident. I decided that I wanted to get pregnant, that that was my best time to have a baby. And you know what? It ended up being my best time. And do you know what? It was a crazy decision. And you know what? Yeah. I would do it all over again because I have the most amazing son in the world. And then when I decided to have baby number two, I had infertility problems. So go ahead and live your dreams and do what you need to do right now.

Step out in faith, even if someone says that it’s not the way to do it. You no longer have to wait, do it. Give yourself permission. I gave myself permission to start medical school at 32 and you know why I did that? Because I counted the years it was going to take for me to become a doctor. And I said, “I could be 40 years old with an MD degree or I can be 40 years old. Either way it was coming.” And so it doesn’t matter how long it’s going to take for your dreams to happen. You could be 40 years old with your dreams fulfilled or 40 years old wishing you had started on this path.

You could be 50 years old, or 60 years old, or 70 years old, or 80 years old. I don’t care how old you are. Give yourself permission to start on your dreams right here and right now and I don’t fucking care how old you are. And you’re not allowed to say, “My time has passed”, or anything like that. This is your time right now which gets me into my next point. This is the perfect time. This is the point in time that was meant to be right here. It is meant to happen that you’re listening to this podcast.

It’s meant to happen that this is the time for you. So choose this to be your time. Be intentional, grab it, decide 2023 is coming and I’m getting on this journey, on this path and I’m going to do it. And really the secret is this is the time because there’s no perfect time, it is now. Don’t wait till the kids are out of school, or don’t wait till blah, blah, blah happens or whatever. You can start right here right now with whatever you have, at whatever pace you want to do this.

One of my mentors, Corinne Crabtree, and let me just say, she is amazing. But Corinne Crabtree says, “Pivot like a motherfucker.” And so I’m telling you all, pivot like a motherfucker, it’s time. Sidenote, if you’re not familiar with Corinne Crabtree, go look and see. She does No BS Weight Loss and No BS Businesswomen Work. So if your dreams involve weight loss, check out Corinne Crabtree and her weight loss program. And I believe she’s having something on the 1^st of January, so definitely look into that.

And if you’re focused on your business, then look at her No BS Business program because that’s amazing too. Shout out to Corinne, love you. Alright back on track, time to pivot like a motherfucker. It’s time to get this done. It’s time to step in and intentionally decide that you’re going for your dreams in 2023, a 100% going for your dreams. Stop being a passenger in the car of your life, just like my other Diamond in the rough, where she knew everything that was going on with her partner’s dreams. And she could actively help her partner on that.

And I’m not saying, don’t help your partner. I think it’s wonderful to be supporting of your partner, definitely, but make sure you also have dreams. Don’t be a passenger sitting in a car. And then at the end of your life, you’re like, “I never did what I wanted to do.” Get over into the driver’s seat. Learn how to drive. Learn how to lead your life. Figure out what it is that you want to do. Be in control of your life. Guide your life where you want to guide it. Stop being the passenger in somebody else’s car. Step into the driver’s seat and be the driver in your own life.

This is really what life is about. Every time you say, “I can’t do something”, ask yourself why because I bet a 100% you can and it doesn’t have to be perfect. And we’re going to be talking about the fact that it doesn’t have to be perfect on the next episode. And so that’s the other half of things. It’s not going to be perfect and you’re going to do it anyway. And so between that point when you get into the driver’s seat and the point where you soar, is all the fun part in between. And we’re going to be talking about that on the next episode.

Okay, so, Diamonds, make that decision, become intentional, decide that you’re going to work on your dreams. Decide 2023 is going to be the best year of your life. Harness that clitoral empowerment and live your best life. It is so amazing. It’s almost like you have your own battery pack right between your legs that you can harness at any moment and do whatever it is that you need to do. And if you feel like you haven’t tapped into your clitoral empowerment, do not worry, I am here for you.

Own Your Sexuality Now starts on January 4^th and we are all about the clitoral empowerment. So orientation’s on January 4^th and as I mentioned before, this is the only time I’m going to be running it live in 2023 because I am in the process of pivoting like a motherfucker. And so things are going to be really interesting in 2023. Stay tuned.

And also if you’re a doctor, you can get CME for Own Your Sexuality Now. So email me at admin@soniawrightmd.com. And I will answer any questions that anybody has about Own Your Sexuality Now. Okay, love you all a lot, Diamonds.

Hey, Diamonds, it’s Dr. Sonia, OYSN is starting in January of 2023. Will you be there? I only offer OYSN live once a year now. That time is now. I love you, I love this group and I want you to be part of it. Enrollment is now open for the next two weeks. And did I mention the bonuses for this group? First, we have Dr. Sonia’s favorite things giftbox which is full of fun toys, books, lube and even a special self-love journal from OYSN. That’s available for the first 20 women that join the group.

The second bonus, which is truly amazing, is that you get to be a founding member of Dr. Kimmery’s relationship coaching group. It’s like getting two programs in one. Honestly, you know, it just doesn’t get better than this. I know you want to join so let’s do this. Let’s start the new year with the new empowered sexual you. Imagine where you could be in 90 days. Yes, in three months it could be completely different. Your intimacy can be loving, connected, pleasurable, you get to decide. And you know I love to ask questions so here’s a question for you.

What do you want your sexual intimacy to look like in 10 or 20 years? What you think and what you do now determines your future intimacy. If you’re settling now, your intimacy, your sexual intimacy is likely to be non-existent in the future. You have no incentive to keep engaging in sexual intimacy if it’s not good, if it’s not empowering, if it’s not pleasurable. Do something now that your future self will thank you for. This is the best gift ever for yourself and for your relationships. It’s the gift that keeps on giving year, after year, after year.

You owe it to yourself to invest in your sexual intimacy now and forever. Doesn’t matter if you’re single, if you’re partnered, or if you’re in a, it’s a complicated situation, the OYSN program is for you. I’m personally inviting you to check out the intimate edition. The last cohort was on fire. Women in that group from age 35 to 65 were getting it done and on their own terms.

Couples who had not had sex in years found a new level of sexual fun and intimacy. Other women learned about their bodies and tapped into their pleasure zones. One Diamond learned about setting boundaries and focusing on her pleasure for the first time. Another Diamond got to be independent and changed up her entire life. OYSN is not just about sex, it’s about empowerment for women and, of course, pleasure.

Orientation week starts January 9th, come join an intimate group of women for 12 weeks and literally change your life. If you’re a woman who wants to enjoy all aspects of her life then this program is for you. It finally gets to be your time. So click on the link in the show notes or on my website, soniawrightmd.com and sign up for Own Your Sexuality Now, the intimate edition. I can’t wait to see you there, Diamonds, Dr. Sonia out.