With the holiday season upon us, I’ve been thinking about what I would love to give my Diamonds. I decided that the best gift for you all would be the gift of vibrant life through empowerment. And when I say empowerment, I mean clitoral empowerment.
How we show up in the bedroom is how we show up in every other area of our lives. You have been put on this earth to enjoy life and have pleasure, yet so many women are still not asking for what they want. So this week, I’m helping you realize the power you hold and start advocating for yourself in the bedroom and your life.
I am officially declaring 2023 the year of the clitoris, and in this episode, I’m celebrating clitoral empowerment and showing you how to tap into your own power. Learn how to stop settling for “good enough” in the bedroom, and how to develop the courage to start asking for what you want.
You are listening to The Midlife Sex Coach for Women™ Podcast episode 119.
Welcome to The Midlife Sex Coach for Women™ Podcast, the only show that combines a fun personality, medical knowledge, sexual counseling, and life coaching together. To create unique sex coaching that helps busy women awaken their libidos, address intimacy issues, and learn how to express their sexuality for the rest of their days. Here is your host, certified life coach and sexual counselor, Dr. Sonia Wright.
Hello, hello, hello, Diamonds. How are you doing? Good, good, good morning. Good morning to all of you. Yes, as usual I have a little bit more energy than I need to early in the morning and this is without caffeine, coming to you live and true at five in the morning to wish you happy holidays. By the time you hear this podcast I’ll be off to Hawaii on my third of four honeymoons because why not? I am in the process of giving myself the gift of the most amazing life that I could possibly have and for no other reason than I live in abundance.
And this is what I would like to experience. I decided that I am going to be leading by example. I am going to show you that in midlife, it’s the time for the most amazing life that you could possibly have, it’s the time. All you have to do is make a decision that the time is now and you’re going to live your best life exactly how you want to have it. So as I am celebrating my third honeymoon out of four with my partner, Kimmery, I would like you all to be enjoying the holiday season.
And during this holiday season, it started me thinking, what exactly would I love to give my Diamonds? I thought I could give you the gift of facts and knowledgeable around sexual intimacy for women. I could give you the gift of healing. I could give you the gift of self-love, well, at least talk to you about the gift of self-love. I could help you focus on the gift of peace in the holiday season. But what I really decided that I would love to give you is the gift of vibrant life through empowerment. Doesn’t that sound good? A vibrant life through empowerment.
And when I’m talking about empowerment I am talking about clitoral empowerment to be exact. I’ve been thinking a lot about this and I’ve come to the conclusion that how we show up in the bedroom is how we show up in every other area of our life and I really mean this. I cannot count the number of women that have told me they could not really ask for what they want in the bedroom, as if asking for what they want in the bedroom would be disrespectful to their partner. They don’t want to hurt their partner’s feelings. They don’t know how to say the words.
They don’t know how to say, “This doesn’t feel good to me.” So they just kind of lie there and get it over with. But really if we’re talking about being disrespectful, the only person that you’re being disrespectful to at that moment is yourself. The more I think about it, if you’re not asking for what you want in the bedroom then you’re not getting the pleasure that you deserve and you’re not being respectful to yourself or your partner either. Because you’re probably telling your partner that it’s good enough, and good enough is honestly, just not good enough.
And not reaching for what you want, you’re settling. And when I say you’re settling in the bedroom, the odds are you probably don’t even want to go into the bedroom. No one is enthusiastic about settling. When was the last time you said, “Yes, let me jump into the bed right now. I’m so excited for mediocre sex?” The odds are you’re avoiding it and probably your partner too, probably avoiding your partner’s touch altogether.
So as I’m thinking through what I’d really love to give my Diamonds I’m thinking I would love to give you the gift, the gift of empowerment, the gift of clitoral activation. What? What? What you’re asking me. You’re like, “What, Dr. Sonia? What?” Yeah, it’s kind of like Wonder Twins, if you’re of my generation maybe you’ve heard the phrase, Wonder Twins Activate.
I want to do clitoral activation, something along that line, something where suddenly a power, a burst of light, and energy, and power radiates from your clitoris and engulfs your whole body. And then you’re able to activate and prioritize yourself and ask for what you want. And you’re just out there in the world. Seriously, I want to give you the gift of a star studded, thriving, throbbing, amazing, reach out and grab it life with your clitoris, kind of like a bedazzled clitoris.
I want your image of your clitoris and the power that emanates from it to be the size of the clitoris at 8 Manhattan empowerment size. That’s what I want. So research has recently come out with the fact that the clitoris has over 10,000 nerve endings. The little thing is three to four inches. It’s not a button. For those of you that don’t know, it’s not a button. It’s just three or four inches and it has packed in that three to four inches, over 10,000 nerve endings which is more nerve endings than the penis has.
The clitoris is truly amazing. I want you to realize the power of this little structure, the power that is between your legs. When you realize the power that you have ‘down there’ then you’re going to start to advocate for yourself in the bedroom and in life in general. You’ve been put on this Earth to enjoy life and to have pleasure. The clitoris only has one function and that is for your pleasure. The clitoris ensures that you have power and pleasure, but you have to activate it. There’s no other structure like it in the entire world.
You have the power right in arm’s reach, tap that sucker, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap. I want each of you, each of my Diamonds to imagine that you have the most bedazzled clitoris. Imagine what that looks like. If your bedazzled clitoris could talk to you, what would it say? I bet it would tell you that you have not even reached one-tenth of your potential, probably not even-hundredth of your potential inside and outside of the bedroom.
If you could tap into that clitoral energy you could truly rule the world, but instead we stay small because we don’t realize the combined power of what we have between our legs and between our ears, or maybe, just maybe we do realize the power and we’re afraid of it, you decide, but in either case, isn’t it time? There’s nothing that we can’t do when we combine the power of our clitoris and our mind.
It is the source of ultimate power with 10,281 nerve endings on average in the human clitoris, amazing sensations can be pulsating through your vulva at any moment. Think of it as an internal revved up battery source that you could tap into whenever you want to. Need the courage to ask for what you want in the bedroom? Tap into your clitoral power. Need the courage to ask for a raise? Tap into your clitoral power. Need to make it through a long day of screaming kids or family events? Tap into your clitoral power. It is there for you to access at any moment.
Imagine the power that can be harnessed at any moment when we put our minds and our clitoris into alignment. If we identify ourselves as women and as very powerful women then we have the ability to tap into that power. People often talk about being ballsy and growing a pair. No need to worry about that. You already have access to the most amazing power through your clit. No need to grow a pair, just tap into your clitoral power right now. Whenever you need to advocate for yourself, close your eyes, imagine that little structure, how powerful it is and imagine the power that emanates from it.
Maybe as you’re imagining the power in that little structure, there’s a song in the background. Okay, I am going to tell you right now, I’m not that great of a singer but I’m doing it because I love singing. I love it whenever I sing, Kimmery kind of looks at me because she actually sings very well and understands concepts, and nerves, and us using concepts of notes and things like that which I do. But anyway let’s go back to your amazing little clitoris.
When you want to tap into that clitoral power, imagine advocating for yourself, close your eyes, imagine that powerful structure and the power that’s emanating from it. Listen to the song in the background, depending on what generation you are, maybe the song is, sisters are doing it for themselves. Maybe the song is, who runs the world? Girls. Who runs the world? Girls. Or maybe a classic, I am strong, I am invincible, I am woman, whatever the song is in the background, tap into that clit energy and do it.
Prioritize yourself, ask for what you want and get it. In fact I am declaring the year of 2023 the year of the clit. And I am going to be celebrating all things clit. Here’s to 2023. Here’s to your goals and your plans for 2023. Here’s for advocating for yourself in 2023. We’re going to be talking more about goals and plans next week. And here is to your amazing clitoris and the clitoral celebration that we are going to be having all of next year. Diamonds, it’s going to be lit, it’s going to be so good.
So, Diamonds, enjoy your holiday, prepare for 2023 and the celebration of the clit. And if you don’t have a clit, celebrate the one you love’s clit, it’s just so good. There’s more than enough power for one. Okay, Diamonds, have a great holiday season and I’ll talk to you next week as we plan 2023, the year of the clit.
Hey, Diamonds, it’s Dr. Sonia, OYSN is starting in January of 2023. Will you be there? I only offer OYSN live once a year now. That time is now. I love you, I love this group and I want you to be part of it. Enrollment is now open for the next two weeks. And did I mention the bonuses for this group? First, we have Dr. Sonia’s favorite things giftbox which is full of fun toys, books, lube and even a special self-love journal from OYSN. That’s available for the first 20 women that join the group.
The second bonus, which is truly amazing, is that you get to be a founding member of Dr. Kimmery’s relationship coaching group. It’s like getting two programs in one. Honestly, you know, it just doesn’t get better than this. I know you want to join so let’s do this. Let’s start the new year with the new empowered sexual you. Imagine where you could be in 90 days. Yes, in three months it could be completely different. Your intimacy can be loving, connected, pleasurable, you get to decide. And you know I love to ask questions so here’s a question for you.
What do you want your sexual intimacy to look like in 10 or 20 years? What you think and what you do now determines your future intimacy. If you’re settling now, your intimacy, your sexual intimacy is likely to be non-existent in the future. You have no incentive to keep engaging in sexual intimacy if it’s not good, if it’s not empowering, if it’s not pleasurable. Do something now that your future self will thank you for. This is the best gift ever for yourself and for your relationships. It’s the gift that keeps on giving year, after year, after year.
You owe it to yourself to invest in your sexual intimacy now and forever. Doesn’t matter if you’re single, if you’re partnered, or if you’re in a, it’s a complicated situation, the OYSN program is for you. I’m personally inviting you to check out the intimate edition. The last cohort was on fire. Women in that group from age 35 to 65 were getting it done and on their own terms.
Couples who had not had sex in years found a new level of sexual fun and intimacy. Other women learned about their bodies and tapped into their pleasure zones. One Diamond learned about setting boundaries and focusing on her pleasure for the first time. Another Diamond got to be independent and changed up her entire life. OYSN is not just about sex, it’s about empowerment for women and, of course, pleasure.
Orientation week starts January 9th, come join an intimate group of women for 12 weeks and literally change your life. If you’re a woman who wants to enjoy all aspects of her life then this program is for you. It finally gets to be your time. So click on the link in the show notes or on my website, soniawrightmd.com and sign up for Own Your Sexuality Now, the intimate edition. I can’t wait to see you there, Diamonds, Dr. Sonia out.